Redemption

She stood outside his door in the rain, staring at the stained glass panels on the tiny windows next to the door. She remembered it well. She had helped him pick them out. She wanted to ring the bell, knock on his door. But she was scared. Scared of what would happen if he did not let her in. More scared of what would happen if he did. Seven months is a long time to be gone. No phone call, no letter, no two-line note. She had just packed her bags and left one Tuesday afternoon exactly seven months ago. There was no reason, no need for her to leave. He was a good man. A kind man. He never hit her. Came home to her every night. He loved her and had proposed marriage. So commitment was not an issue either. Even she did not know what it was. She was not a player. Not commitment phobic either. She had waited for someone like him all her life. at least she thought she did. But then she had walked out and left.

She took a deep breath, brushed the wet hair away from her face and rang the bell. Her feet squished against her wet socks in her Converse sneakers. A woman opened the door. Her heart skipped. She sighed. Just the maid. He came out from his study. "Who is it?" "It's me," she said. A pause. "Come in. Dinner's ready. I didn't know what you wanted. Pasta ok?" She leaned against the door, her tears mixing with the raindrops on her cheeks.

Can't help hating my life...

... everyone else does. Well... not everyone. Some people actually want me in their lives (surprising enough). Shit like that also happens to me sometimes. But I digress. There's little going for me right now. I'm 26, unemployed, still studying, 15 kilos overweight and single. The rest I can live with. The latter is what people don't let me live with. What is it with people and matchmaking. If I'm single then it must be for a reason right? (Not that I planned it. God just has a better - or worse - plan for me I guess). So friends and so-called well wishers please leave me be. I don't want a man in my life. Not right now. And no, I don't know when I'll be ready enough to have one in my life. So please. Keep alliances of your friends, brothers, cousins to yourself. I'm happy. (Maybe I'm not. But if I keep saying it often enough I'll be).

Maturity is overrated

I hate being mature. Why can't I blame someone else for something that has gone wrong in my life!!! I had a crush on this guy for 3 years. Introduced him to my friend. Bata bing bata boom. They hook up. And I can't blame anyone. Can't blame him 'coz he never reciprocated my feelings (though he knew how I felt). Can't blame my friend. She tried her best to ignore him (and failed completely). Can't blame myself because how the F*** was I supposed to know this would happen! (F******G dipshit that I am). So tell me who do I blame? This sucks!