Things

The things that could have been. The things that will be. The things that were never meant to happen. The things that happen all the time. The things we don't understand. The things we don't want to understand. The things we wish we understood. The things that fall into place. The things that go haywire. The things we wish for. The things we actually get. The things that make up our days. The things we never wish to see again. The things we feel. The things we wish we could do less of. The things we revolve our lives around. The things we can't live without. The things we can't wait to get rid of. There are always things. Too many things and not enough people.

The kindness of strangers

It's funny how a small incident can make your whole day seem sunny and worthwhile. Finding 50 bucks in the pocket of your jeans, just enough sugar in the jar for your morning cuppa, sharing a laugh with a stranger at your favourite breakfast place. You know you'll never see him again. But for those few minutes, you are kindred spirits. For those few minutes you could be best friends, fellow conspirators, lovers sharing a secret. For those few minutes, you could be anyone in the world and he could be your Prince Charming. You may not give him a second look any other time, but for those few moments, it's just you and him. Against the world...

Silly love songs

Silly love songs... Silly silly love songs. Songs which we never admit listening to. Song which we usually don't pay any attention to because we think they don't need any attention... Those songs sometimes manage to put a smile on your face like nothing else can.

Redemption

She stood outside his door in the rain, staring at the stained glass panels on the tiny windows next to the door. She remembered it well. She had helped him pick them out. She wanted to ring the bell, knock on his door. But she was scared. Scared of what would happen if he did not let her in. More scared of what would happen if he did. Seven months is a long time to be gone. No phone call, no letter, no two-line note. She had just packed her bags and left one Tuesday afternoon exactly seven months ago. There was no reason, no need for her to leave. He was a good man. A kind man. He never hit her. Came home to her every night. He loved her and had proposed marriage. So commitment was not an issue either. Even she did not know what it was. She was not a player. Not commitment phobic either. She had waited for someone like him all her life. at least she thought she did. But then she had walked out and left.

She took a deep breath, brushed the wet hair away from her face and rang the bell. Her feet squished against her wet socks in her Converse sneakers. A woman opened the door. Her heart skipped. She sighed. Just the maid. He came out from his study. "Who is it?" "It's me," she said. A pause. "Come in. Dinner's ready. I didn't know what you wanted. Pasta ok?" She leaned against the door, her tears mixing with the raindrops on her cheeks.

Can't help hating my life...

... everyone else does. Well... not everyone. Some people actually want me in their lives (surprising enough). Shit like that also happens to me sometimes. But I digress. There's little going for me right now. I'm 26, unemployed, still studying, 15 kilos overweight and single. The rest I can live with. The latter is what people don't let me live with. What is it with people and matchmaking. If I'm single then it must be for a reason right? (Not that I planned it. God just has a better - or worse - plan for me I guess). So friends and so-called well wishers please leave me be. I don't want a man in my life. Not right now. And no, I don't know when I'll be ready enough to have one in my life. So please. Keep alliances of your friends, brothers, cousins to yourself. I'm happy. (Maybe I'm not. But if I keep saying it often enough I'll be).

Maturity is overrated

I hate being mature. Why can't I blame someone else for something that has gone wrong in my life!!! I had a crush on this guy for 3 years. Introduced him to my friend. Bata bing bata boom. They hook up. And I can't blame anyone. Can't blame him 'coz he never reciprocated my feelings (though he knew how I felt). Can't blame my friend. She tried her best to ignore him (and failed completely). Can't blame myself because how the F*** was I supposed to know this would happen! (F******G dipshit that I am). So tell me who do I blame? This sucks!

the grass is always greener...

or is it? i always wondered why things never really happened the way i wanted them to...like for instance, i never got the window seat in my kindergarten class, i never got appointed class monitor in school, i always had to read in english class, every class, every year, was always passed over to represent my school in competitions outside, never got into the college i wanted, never got asked out by the guy i liked, got cheated on by my boyfriend of 8 years, hate the job i'm at...whew...the list is so long that i would be in a mental institution for chronic depression...
i always thought that this girl in my school had it better...rich and pretty, smart, kind and intelligent(topped every exam). she went abroad for her studies...is still with the guy she was dating in high school... u get the picture...
a few days ago i met her on one of her trips home...she looked great in her gucci top, levis and jimmy choo shoes. i had nothing branded on...same old tailored suit i wear to work...over a sandwich and ice cream i told her that i always envied her for all she was and all she had...
she smiled...i saw her smiling after 7 years...she told me how good a life i was leading...
i was with my family in my own country...was earning my own keep and living off it in luxury...was not in a violent relationship with a cheat and a psycho...and then she cried...i saw her cry for the first time...she held my hand and told me..."just thank God that he didn't answer all ur prayers"